Gewd morning people.... what a lovely morning.... :D
Last nite I watched Mukhsin(I know, living under the coconut shell ain't that fun as enticing as it sounds)... The film made grin grin n griiin all through it. It's so cute how a thing called l-o-v-e is tying to be potrayed as not it. Loved the film as its very deep in thought and that it is emotionally raw- raw emotions needs not any good actors just a damn great story teller(ehem. Yasmin Ahmad) and a big heart(ehem ehem. Mine)
So anyways, regarding to the title.
After watching the film, watching Hussin(not quite sure how to spell), older brother of Mukhsin who keeps running around trying to get hold of his mother who left them( him and his brother Mukhsin) to their aunty. Kept calling the atuk every night just so the atuk would pass the phone to his mother. But the mother refused. In the end, the last piece of news was- she hung herself. FYI: Losing one thing that you ever hold onto makes you throw your sanity away and shatters the one thing that beats in you. the heart stops, the brain goes blank, the body goes limp but tears would just wanna stream down and legs feel like running- away from the truth of it all so that you just get to feel that its NOT over....
After watching that, just before I slept,I felt the urge to just get a grip of my mum(I'm living with my stepmum). Wanted to make sure she's still using her phone no. and it's still in use. So i texted, and yeay. Mission accomplished.
Then this morning I got a text back. Conversation was non significant, I texted her as 'Ibu' so she should know Im her child, but not which one lah. and it struck me really hard that she asked I'm Amir or Rasyid- no Sha-sha(my name @ home). (Gdebushh!!??) I told her, I clearly made a mistake as it seems she had no daughter.... Ahaha.... I was laughing and crying at the same time, on the bed under the blanket... curled like a piece of thing.
"Uh mummy doesn't remember me? No, she just doesn't remember u"
Few minutes past... I stood up. and head for shower.
I am worth much more than that word of 'sayang' and plastic emotion of yours Ibu. and uh yeah I think i love u.
and I moved on...
ate cucur udang and typed a blog. :D
NoteToLolipop: You wont know about this dear, unless you read this entry. and uh I miss you.
NoteToSelf: Life is that merry go round, remember that dear... :)