Monday, January 2, 2012

lost and loosing

threw the bag aside, undress and head for the shower.

Every cold drop of water that touch my skin seem so kind, caressing me with their sliding motion on my skin. My eyes grew bigger, staring into these magnificent aqua beings. I stare into and pass them, clean, pure and simple.

I looked down to my feet, I move them, feeling the thin film of water patch surrounding me,lined up in spirals and freestyling when they must waiting their turn to go down the drain. Looked to my hands that pruned for playing with these beings far too long. But i didn't seem to care. As if I was watching myself from a third person- watching me, watching my movements and decisions.

I realise, that thing that moved under the water droplets, breathing the air of anxiety. I saw it, and I couldn't find me. I could not except that... THAT is me. I can't even bare the sight of that thing. It sickens me and couldn't care any less whether that thing is alive or a walking doll.

I then realise, that thing is me. But I no longer am me, I am watching Me instead- living my life.

Lost in the middle of nowhere, lost in the sahara desert  of past , secret & dark stories, entity and identity that is scattered everywhere sinked and float in the sea of thoughts.

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