Saturday, August 11, 2012

littlest one: expectation

Ada seorang budak lelaki who is the youngest of all his sibblings. Anak bongsu, like any 'final product' always expected to be perfect. Though people don't feel so, dia rasa he is expected to be the best. His life has always been about expectation. Everybody but his own.

But then, life happened...

Waking up seems harder each day. The fire just wasn't there. Its the same routine everyday, the same game, the same nag, the same reason to do better in academics, the same emotional emptiness, the same question of why is it am I here?

This boy has always been the perfect student of the school and parents- the perfect bakal menantula, because he used to fight for what he believed in which at that time was academic excellence. But now he wants different things,  but he stopped believing in those things and started seeing things in a whole different perspective. Tapi those expectations don't change with him, biasala orang dewasa- selalu rasa 'budak2 mana tahu apa diorang nak'. Pressure gets higher as test and trials gets harder too.

Scolded for every failed expectation or even when trying to achieve his own expectation. Frustrated. He decides that perhaps he isn't meant to have his own expectation, perhaps he is meant to fullfill his parent's and teacher's expectation and perhaps one day it would also be his expectation too. But Deep inside his wall of tolerant and sanity is chipping off- little by little, menunggu hari ia roboh...

Kadang2 kita rasa orang tu mesti bahagia sangat coz he/she has everything.
What we don't realise he/she has everything that he/she doesn't want.

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