Monday, May 19, 2014

the inner journey : embracing mildness

So I have decided to embrace the softer milder side of me. I realise I have been very high strung and dense* tense; my brain was like on guard ALL THE TIME, like those front line soldiers. My question why? What is my brain protecting myself from? On second thought, I might have been like since forever, except when I was in Penang and Genting. Coming from a family with a long history of successful and historical figures has always pressured me to want to be the best? That caused a lot of pressure in me, everytime I do a thing I feel so pressured to make it perfect should there be any imperfection, it is only because I let it be there- I am like a control freak, I want to dictate. Sometimes I think a bit too much. Off track are we?

Anyway, after realising this, I have decided to tone down, I actually wanted to learn how to get organized (To learn even more about controlling things.) So I bought a book titled "Organize your mind Organize your life" link to book cover. After reading the few pages I was like, why is it not giving tips? My logic: organize- how to get organize - tips / do(s) and dont(s) to get organized. I was so starting to frown with my mind rambling bout how dare he not give tips. I kept on reading, then I realise the book instead of teaching us literally how and what to do to organize ourselves, like it said it started by opening and cleaning our minds. Example: you have a messy closet, full of clothes, accessories, shoes and others. You can reorganize the closet every week and still repeat the mess every week, what this book does is that it filters the items in the closet to detect its core problem, for instance it makes you look at all your pair of shoes you will realise some are safer in the bin, some needs repairing. Just like that, the book urges the reader to first clear the mind then evaluate on which data is to keep and which to throw (the culprit for the mayhem) so that the brain does not process unnecessary things which is also one of the reasons why i was being a lunatic. After having the parts work, only then they throw in the program making the whole operation flawless and have more space for new items to be processed. Off track again?

Sorry, I just felt that it was necessary to talk a little about the book (yeah a whole paragraph of it), because it was a part of my journey might even be the cause of this journey, because had it not made me realise the challenges I was facing, I would not probably start this journey. The extra mental freedom that I have obtained, had made me more laid back and thus helped me realise I would really like a milder life.

I used to stand by work hard, play hard. I have changed it:
Work hard, Play hard, Rest right.

I am actually dozing off while typing this, so Imma go sleep now.... Goodnight people....

*Dense person : Someone who lacks common sense, acts like an idiot and makes a fool of themselves without realising