Sunday, July 6, 2014

laughing at my own joke and list of things I have managed to dump into my brain

Hello journal! Sorry I've been such a douche to you lately, It is like sometimes I am here pouring my heart to you, then I disappear, I realise that is very selfish of me.

It is just that when I do have an idea to write I'm always doing something like picking which cereal to buy, having a conversation with myself on how to deal with certain people, being at awe of daily events and so on. I mean at that exact moment I would be like "Oh fudge! I should write about that" then when I do actually have the time to open the laptop, I'd be staring at this blank page trying to recall what was i doing again? Haha... I am like a goldfish with a memory extension to a  rewritable floppy disk- It helps but not really. Haha... *laughing at own joke*

So anyway I just decide to write awaaaay.... see where my eager fingers and confused mind takes me.

AHAH! I got it! *Actually, I got a whatsaapp text*
I am going to tell you how I have my exams of the 1st semester for my part time degree, and I am soooo worried I might mess it up. I really actually have sooooo much to say but its likea bunch of people trying to go through a normal 3ft wide door and mind you they are not exactly petite thoughts- so, its just there- -existing- at that door and me just looking or in this case thinking about them.. o.o

But I have learnt a lot of things about these past few months, and I actually want to write about them because I feel it would totally help others if they ever come across my blog that is. Haha... but maybe listing them down first would be a better idea as it would ease out the process, right? *I'd like to think so la*

List of things I found out!
  1. I realised that I have not grown up!- Thats probably why people kept saying I have not changed; I actually thought it was because I went through that phase earlier in my life and thus that change happened before they knew me rather than when they expected me to be. Anyway, the way I see it - I am a child with a mature mind
  2. I am so so so so soooo self assured, like tooo self assured. And when I doubt myself it is either it is because it involves other people or I mentally convince myself that I should probably question myself right now.
  3. I am actually very emotional just that I am very cautious of expressing it to other beings. People probably already have enough of things to deal with, I should be their last concern- cause I know I will be able to suck it up better than others. ;)
  4. Change is easy to make but to maintain the movement of the change proves to be harder- just like creating awareness for the recycle culture, though it is acknowledged, it has yet to actually exist as a movement. So I am trying to change myself but it has been donkey hard to keep it constant and make it exist as an actual movement in my life.
  5. I seem to be every exs' milestone- you made me realise, if you had not done that I wouldn't have realised, if it was not for you, bla bla, bla.... Thank you for that. Like wow... I should perhaps maybe be a counsellor or motivator or something or perhaps I get to use it for when I get into the marketing sector. :D
  6. I am not ready for s committed relationship since I am a MAJOR work in progress.
  7. Understanding a situation logically helps me to cope with the emotional attachments that comes with it.
  8. If you have a tattoo it is harder for you to donate blood. Not that I ever planned to have one, just that it at least stops the 'I soooo want a tattoo' lust in me.
  9. I miss venting :D because I have not managed to squeeze in workout sessions in my schedule. :'(