Friday, October 23, 2015

light at the end of the tunnel

god | career | self

What if I die in the next minute? I will die knowingly I missed out the fajr prayer because I couldn't fight the temptation of going back to sleep as I was too comfortable. See? God not only test you with the difficulties of pain and suffering but also with the privileges of having an easy and comfortable life.

Growing up surrounded with Malay modified western value messes up with my brain. Growing up fast did not help either, I formed my own opinion at a very young age and thus made me often question and rebel internally about religion; you see, the education system and basically the culture here Islam is presented to you like a manuscript of rules & regulation on how to go about your life, as if it is a man-made law. It also doesn't help that most people here are confused or just unaware religion and culture are 2 different thing: to hold an event in order to inform your friends and family that you are married is religion but to have a grand- humongous-glittery-ending with illegal superb fireworks performance-money wasting-event is culture.

So in a nutshell I grew up frowning at people who keep telling me you can't do that or this because my religion said so and are unable to tell me where this do and don't guideline is coming from- because these people only tell half of the story:
Like they would tell me people who are not praying 5x a day(me) are gonna rot in hell and this same people are going around hating and back biting other people. Like wtf, this does not make sense- so this bitter dark hearted person is going to heaven just because of his prayer but is not going to be held accountable for his ill-considered actions?
I don't know bout you guys but this book of rules & regulations sounds like it was not very well thought out when it was made.

Fast forward to the present, a best friend of mine invited me to go to one of the talks she has been going and I have this habit of not being able to say no, especially with my best friends and even more special it was gonna be about Islam. At that point of my life, I have just finished my diploma and was working with my dad. So yeah, I said yes.

One thing bout me I put no expectations on things, I believe if things happen they happen for a reason and plus I said yes, I made the call- no knife was held to my throat. So yeah I believe in keeping an open mind and make the best of every situation I am thrown into. Back to the topic, So yeah I sat and I listened and best of all I could relate! This man makes sense, he speaks of logic, knowledge, mistakes, forgiveness and so on.... So that cracked the lock I had on my brain for so long, after that I slowly explored  and research on Islam. I still fall every now and then but it gets easier with time, the heart gets fonder and the mind becomes clearer.

I am gonna end this here because I need to run a few errands.

end of part 1?

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