Tuesday, May 2, 2017

1st May 2017 Are we relevant enough now?

officially 27 in 28 days.

I am probably now more confused about the world than I ever was. Finished my diploma at the age of 21 and have been busy  ever since, been single ever since too. Done a lot of mistakes and probably will still be doing more of it in the future too.

Towards the end of 2016 I promised myself that I would start making changes in my life. This came from a dark, lonely and empty place in my life- I was feeling underachieved, taken for granted and irrelevant to and by the world. I could have crawled and hid in the cave of self pity but I have seen too much of that happening and I don't like it, not one bit.

I do not believe that things 'just happen', I believe everything happen for a reason, a part of a bigger plan- the reason might not be centralized on myself, the reason can be centralized in the reality of another person's life and I am fine with that. I feel like the world is at an egocentric, self centered oriented era- we are too obsessed about making everything about us. Ironic part of it is that we want things to be about us but through the eyes of others- in our attempt to be a better person, we strive to be a better person in the eyes of others.

People say we crave others approval because we care too much but I think we seek others approval because we are too scared to confront our demons. Ever catch yourself asking 'God' what did I do wrong or what else should I do, or even ask a lost lover what else did they want from us? Perhaps instead of those, we should be asking ourselves- what could have been the mistake I've done there?- we are too afraid to admit we made a mistake,we blame it on others- you should have told me, I have done all you have asked me to do... But did we do or did not do these things out of our own conscious & verdict or did we just let the responsibility of decision making be made & determined by an outside force despite the fact that it is our own faculties are doing the job?

So again I ask who & why are we asking when we ask 'Are we relevant enough now?'
Are we asking so that we do not have to answer it for ourselves and  so that if anything goes wrong we can pin the fault onto others and live in the comfort of "I was just doing it as I was told to do." Stop insulting the humankind by making such lazy justification.

Having all that in my mind- I made the changes I needed in reference of what I was told to do.

You can be told to get RM100'000, BUT it is you who decide to earn it with hard work or by stealing a person's Rolex and sold it off for the money.

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