Internal monologue 1 : The one that got away
You know what sucks? When you have the right person at the wrong time... and having THAT fact engraved at the back of your memories, knowing how great it could have been.
But you gotta let go because you KNOW if you continue, all the bad things in life will just snowball from there on forward. So you both go your separate ways.
What is stupid is that everything after that just does not feel as great.. It is like you lost a part of yourself when that person left,and you wonder and wander if you could find that part of yourself ever again because every freaking day it just feels incomplete. In that incompleteness, you hope you had taken a part of them with you too; so that they feel as empty and miserable as you do.
As if it is not torturing enough that you have a gaping hole in your chest, when bad days come along and things feel like shit, those great, beautiful and painful memories break your vulnerable dam and flows back in and it starts flooding your thoughts- almost drowning in them, so you struggle, you paddle, you hold your thoughts, anything! Just to make it stop.Then when you finally get that gasp of air- you are relieved but now soaked and so those emotions echo in your thoughts- slowly but surely you start grasping, desperately looking for answers to fill that hole in your chest- as to what went wrong? What the freak did I do wrong? Why did it have to happen? Why me? Why us? How?
Because every single time, after the flood leaves, it clears up the dust off and you can read the engraved words of- "We, were meant to be."