So I have and also still am in this journey, seeking that excitement in life, but something just feels off. I decided to list down the questions I have for both myself and the world:
- Am I suppose to constantly be on the go hunting for the next best thing?
- Is there no possibility for to just be happy and thankful with a certain fundamental needs and or wants in life?
- Are these excitements just a distraction from what I am suppose to confront?
- What is this emptiness? Where is it coming from? the heart? The mind? The tummy? The gut?
- and bunch of existential and functional crisis related questions.
These questions might sound redundant to some cause there is always some generic answer you can pick from a book you read, or a conversation you've had or even a movie that you relate to so much. However the fact of the matter here is that those answers are someone else's no matter how relatable or deeply connected you feel with that person's answer. Also how do you genuinely feel and think about the answers you have at hand? Do you feel that those answer fit perfectly in your puzzle arrangement or is it a bit clunky? Because I'll tell you now, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that 'that feel good answer' you have is the answer, if its clunky- it will always be forever clunky and out of place.
The biggest question I had for myself though: "Am I asking myself the right questions?"
Ever gone through a situation where you just can't seem to solve riddle no matter how hard you try to frame it, but then when you take a step back to chill then out of nowhere suddenly 'you see the light'. That is what I mean, could it be possible that all these years of living of the majestic forests and selfless plants I have been asking and answering all the wrong questions?
When I was looking for a passion I was looking at something I could do for 'fun', but that is not passion; That is entertainment.,Passion is something that when you do, you can feel your heart, mind, body and soul are engaged in it no matter how easy or hard or even insufferable things are in your pursuit to accomplish it. It is like somehow deep down you KNOW it will and it is worth every inch of your blood and perspiration. This is one of many change of perspective I've gone through.
Open up your mind, allow it to access information, empower it to analyse and make its own conclusion from those information it attained. Don't forget to be wise enough to not force yourself on 'things that are beyond your capability to comprehend it'- respect the nature of knowledge and enlightenment.
The way I see it; the mainstream media have been lobbying the concept of gaining excitement and achievement through physical experience way to hard that it has now become our reality, when in actuality, back then life excitement and achievement went beyond the human 5 senses (sight,hearing, taste, smell and touch) it was also through the exploration of the mind and heart itself- the journeys and adventures within ourselves.
Perhaps the question is not what makes you feel good, rather the question should be: What feels right? Lets face it, there are a handful of the things that makes you feel good somehow give you an aftertaste of 'that felt wrong', and then we seek comfort in our justification. So why are we not seeking what feels good and feels right too? Are we so scared of reality? Afraid to wake up and face our own demon?